I have a friend who would rather drink cheap wine, walk through an abandoned house at midnight, and step on a rusty nail (which he did, in high school, but that’s another story) than wear or own anything marked by a monogram. “Well, that’s just downright silly.” You might say. “How will he know which… Continue reading Are Those Your Turkeys?
I always want my kids. Some days I just don’t want to parent. I don’t want to have the responsibility of making heavy decisions. Sometimes I feel like I can’t possibly be in charge of these small people. ME?? Wasn’t it just yesterday I was trying to figure out which TrapperKeeper to put my Lisa… Continue reading You’re Not Screwing It Up
I’m almost 34. I’m in the middle of two young boys, a husband, my mom, and two dogs. I read things, hear things, watch commercials that say I’m supposed to have a passion, a life-dream, something that sets my soul on fire and so on. And then I’m supposed to pursue that dream and make… Continue reading No Broken Hearts
Monday I will send my kid off to spend the day in a colorful classroom with warm teachers and friendly children. What a death-trap. This is our first experience with kindergarten. I’m eating a lot of cookies and worrying about the size of his book bag and whether he’ll remember his lunch box. Will he… Continue reading Always Share Your Biscuits
YAWN. Oh, you know. No big deal. We just ate at Chef & the Farmer (www.vivianhoward.com) last night. Chef Vivian Howard. Stellar PBS show A Chef’s Life. GAH. Still swooning over the experience. Did I mention VH’s parents sat next to us? I’m not a “foodie.” I don’t know about food. I just eat it… Continue reading Tom Thumb
I hope you have an elderly person in your life. A nice one, not a crotchety one; that’s just a mean person that got old. It also helps if he/she can hear. Because when he can’t, he tends to fill in the gaps with completely unrelated words and that’s how rumors get started. You: “Boy,… Continue reading Stay Away From The Perverts
Asking my children to clean up toys, put on shoes, brush teeth, etc., is like herding slugs. Look. I get it. They’re small. They don’t have control over much in their lives. They are distracted easily by bright colors and their brains come up with random questions like, “Why do we have hair? Why did… Continue reading Herding Slugs
It’s been a day full of piano lessons, grocery stores, pool time, a husband out-of-town, and now piles of wet towels by the back door. Not every moment is easy, but I have a good life, a great life. I recently realized that I need to calm the eff down. My shoulders are up to… Continue reading Ease up, Girl
I have a burning heating pad on my stomach for reasons I don’t feel like explaining to my sons. It’s the only relief I’ve had all day. My kids are arguing about the TV. There’s some pushing, yelling. There may be swords involved. Was I seriously expecting them to work it out? I call them… Continue reading Get Off Me
to have and to home 